P-H. Professor, thank you for granting this interview with me. I know you don't often give interviews and I am very grateful for this chance. Could I start by asking what made you decide to enter the teaching profession?

F-B. Well, Paul Henri, as you may know, I was born and brought up in South Africa, living for a short time just outside Johannesburg and then in Cape Town. South Africa is such a beautiful country but not without its problems. I felt that much could be achieved by education. Large numbers Bears down there go through life without any form of formal education, laying in bed most of the day or sitting by their swimming pools or on the beach. I brought a group of like minded Bears together and we decided to run daily classes, teaching a number of subjects, including my own special interest, geogrrraphy. In 1996, during a visit from the then headmaster of Cheltenham Teddies' to South Africa, we met and discussed at great length the work we were doing, which by then had grown into quite a large school. He mentioned that he was retiring to run his honey business and I promptly applied for the job of headmaster at CTC.

P-H. So what did you find when you arrived here?

F-B. Things were very different from school life in South Africa. Being an International School, Cheltenham Teddies' has had to adapt to the very many conditions that make Bears comfortable. Most of the Bears like the central heating on full blast all year round, while our Polar Bear-students insist on the air conditioning being set to freezing, even during the depths of winter. The food, too, causes many problems.....

P-H. Which brings me to Mrs. Burnitt-Goode, the school cook. How well do you get on with her?

F-B. We do get on tolerably well, and luckily I only have to face her cuisine at lunchtime, my wife Audrey cooks my breakfast and dinner. I know there is a daily sheaf of complaints from the students about her cooking, in fact I have three filing cabinets full and that is only from December. I did suggest she take a cookery course during last summer's break, but apparently she got on the wrong bus and took an Assertiveness class and learned judo, which makes taking up the matter of the complaints rather more hazardous. I don't much care for her cat, Lucifer, either...

P-H. What about the other staff?

F-B. They are scared of him as well.

P-H No, I mean, how well do you get on with the other staff?

F-B Well, Matron can be a bit of a trial. She is rather more of a disciplinarian than the students like. But she does have a heart of gold and the Bears always know that they can go to her with any problems, especially homesickness.

Dr. Alexander St. Bees has just joined us as the Housemaster of Washington House. He specialises in teaching Honeyology, our most popular subject here. I was a bit doubtful about his setting up some hives in the garden, but in fact it has turned out very well. I like to see the students getting some 'paws-on' experience of producing our most favourite food. And no one has been stung....yet!

Mademoiselle Desours joined us last year and has proved very effective at teaching Furrench, though she is rather too glamorous for the taste of Matron and Mrs. B-G (and my wife, Audrey). Her background is rather obscure, and though I think she once went to the Sorbearne, I am not too sure how long she stayed. She applied for the job from Singapore, where she was working at the time. Matron tells me that she doesn't know what to think about someone whose washing is nearly all feathers!

P-H Are the students here better academically than you were used to in South Africa?

F-B I must confess to a fondness for all the students here, even though most of the trouble is caused by a very small percentage of them. I am sure that what mischieviousness there is can be put down to overactive intelligence and a genuine desire to investigate the mysteries of life and larder! In South Africa the students were just the same, they just had a much greater range of nasty insects and creatures to put in Matron's bed!

P-H Have the students here started to make their mark on the world in the way you would like to see?

F-B Very much so. I have seen a much greater interest in Politics amongst the Bears in my time here, with an emphasis being placed on the civil rights of Bears. The Literary and Debating Society have had notable successes in forcing advertisers not to use unacceptable images of Bears in promoting their products.

One student, Teddi di Sudz, spends all his spare time writing television soap operas, which was a surprise to me because he almost a stranger to soap at the best of times. I don't know whether he has had any success in getting them produced, but I would have to say that any of the ones currently showing that I have seen, could well have been written by him!

Several of our Bears are planning careers in the performing arts, following critical acclaim in the productions we stage here. One or two have developed marvellous vanishing acts - particularly from scenes of naughtiness.

P-H. Professor Furze-Browne, many thanks for taking the time to talk tome. I won't take up any more of your time now, I know you are a busy Bear.